“I’m so glad I don’t have a cell phone!”

That was the story 3 months ago. When you’re in the hospital, all electronic devices are restricted, and even on visits I didn’t allow any electronic communication. I remember my daughter watching other kids and being amazed by the distraction. “Not me. I’m never going to be like that again.”

Our children have become walking zombies. Glazed eyes, staring at screens, walking straight in to walls and having lost all sense of time and direction because they’re memorized by the screen. I’ve seen parents with babies as little as 1 giving them screens to start learning on. God forbid we should have to take a car ride and talk to each other. Instantly the ear buds go in because no one can agree to the music in my car and have a conversation? No way.

On the weekend we had a family gathering for my sister in laws birthday. There were 14 of us, and who was the worst electronic offender? My daughter. We have a no technology after 9pm policy, but due to my lack of policing, the rules haven’t been as strictly followed. The longer we’ve been away from hospital, the easier it’s been to fall in to the old route – something I have to fight from happening. I was so angry. To see her face stuck to her phone, texting with conversations outside of that room had me seeing red. She did put it down when asked, but I realized we may have a problem starting again.

Last night was no different. I called down the stairs stating it’s time for bedtime routine. “ Ok mom, just setting out things for tomorrow.” More time went by and I called again. “Yup, just finishing up.” Still moving too slowly, I went down to her room to see what the hold up was, and spontaneously asked for the phone, saying it could charge upstairs, out of the room. She gave it over to me with no quarrel, but when I touched it the phone was warm and battery almost dead. When I remarked, she said “mom, I’m really worried about my friend.” Here she hadn’t been getting ready at all. She had been working with another girl on the phone, texting another co patient to not commit suicide. As soon as I found out, I said “We must call the police before it’s too late.” Knowing the girls mother from my self care group I knew the situation was grim, and in these situations time is of the essence.

Proper precautions were taken, and to the best of my knowledge the police arrived and “talked the girl off the ledge,” so to speak. I took the phone upstairs to charge for the night, and hardly slept a wink. I wanted to check the phone so badly for other things, but didn’t know the password – another mistake I had let happen again. I wanted to make sure the girl was ok. It’s against the rules to communicate outside of program, and it’s even against the rules for parents to talk outside of the groups until your child graduates. What would have hapoened if the girls hadn’t been talking? We were all so scared. The wholé thing was very real.

This morning rules were reset again. Passwords are reset and I know them this time. Communication will be limited again and the phone turned off at 9pm, onve again. Graduation for us is only 5 weeks away, and I’m terrified.

Have a conversation with your kids. Turn off the phones, and that means the adult ones too. If it’s so hard to talk, start with watching a movie or play a game. You’d be amazed at how nice people really are when you get to know them.

I believe this generations emergency is learning how to communicate with people, and our generations responsibility to remember how.

Set the example – they’re always watching.