Well today is the day. In 2 hours I will be picking up my daughter after 4 months and 23 days. It’s hard to believe because there are so any times we could have derailed, but we made it. 3rd time is the charm. They will have a rock ceremony for her, we’ll get prescriptions and then go home. No more parking passes, no walking the halls of the childrens, and no more late night calls from nurses.

This is it. Time to put in to play all of the things we’ve learned in therapy. We now go from constant watch and Q60 check ins, to creating our own routine. The question will be “How much is too much?”. For now, program pick up and drop off will be at my work. No home alone time. Regular safety check ins, and regular monthly visits to our pediatrician will be scheduled. Counseling and psychiatric care changes to ADTP. Sharps, meds, and alcohol locked away.

I realize we will have better days and worse days. I watched her restrict food for 2 days this weekend, and then recover on the 3rd. I will have to try and separate regular teenage behavior from things that may be signs of a decline. I know I will also have to decide……….when do we return. I think we are learning some of the triggers, but unfortunately I can only do so much. She will have to learn what to keep or allow in her life, and what to restrict or get rid of. In a way, it’s almost too much for a 13 year old, and I so wish I could stop time a little and just put a little time between now and the tough stuff. Just let her progress a little bit, you know?

“Hi, mom? When are you coming?”
“They said 10……”
“Can you come earlier? I just want to get out of here.”

I’ve been waiting to hear those words for a long time.

Scared. Happy. Nervous. Light headed. Now my real work begins. Fasten your seat belt folks. It’s going to be an interesting ride.